Up with Government!
Add to the suddenly, so terribly in vogue and seemingly never-ending succession of rallies in Washington, D.C., probably the most pretentious ever conceived: the Government Doesn’t Suck rally.
Mark your calendars: October 30, 2010. If you attend only one gratuitous gathering of pointless solidarity this year, make it this one.
The brainchild of erstwhile—presumably non-sucking—federal employee Steve Ressler, this proposed gathering of unionized drones purports to extol the innumerable virtues of that pinnacle of human evolution: the federal bureaucrat.
Finally, a rally where you, too, can shout to federally controlled airspace the effusive praise for bureaucrats that you have for so long kept bottled up inside. Cleanse yourself with government-sanctioned primal scream therapy on the National Mall! This is the gift that Steve Ressler, champion of the oppressive, has bestowed upon you. Now it can be said: Bureaucrats rule!
Actual exuberant exhortation from the sagacious Steve:
Hope to see lots of folks screaming “Government Doesn’t Suck” & “Government is Awesome”
It seems he is advocating the wanton screaming of non-sequiturs. In the spirit of that worthy goal, may we also suggest these:
- That’s what she said!
- I am Government Employee; hear me roar!
- Tennis elbow!
- Su-su-sudio! oh oh!
So go, dyspeptic citizen, to yon Capitol and be renewed by the transformative power of tragic irony. Cheer as the people with permajobs, funded by the sweat of your brow, dance, drool and descend into an orgy of self-congratulation. Laugh as you realize they are serious. Cry as you realize they are serious.
(Authorized by the United States Department of the Division Agency Bureau; the National Division of the Department Bureau Agency; and the Federal Bureau of the Agency of Department Division. Made possible by a theft from taxpayers like you.)